Birds captivate humans with their beauty, song, and flight. But what goes on in their little bird brains? What occupies their thoughts and interests when not busy with survival? Humans love to anthropomorphize birds and speculate on their hypothetical favorite school subjects as if they were human students. Let’s explore what a bird’s favorite subject could be based on attributes of different bird species.
Singing – Music Class
For many songbirds like finches, sparrows, and warblers, expressing themselves through musical vocalizations seems to be a favorite activity. The complexity and diversity of birdsong demonstrates their creative musicality and care for composition (or so we imagine). If birds attended school, signing up for music class would be a no-brainer for these tuneful tweeters.
Flying – Physics
The aerobatic, gravity-defying flight capabilities of birds have always captivated humans. Many birds are engineering marvels when it comes to the physics of powered flight and aerial maneuverability. Applying those physics principles to achieve speed, precision, and agility in the air seems to be a favorite subject for birds. They’d be flying through physics equations and problems on the class quiz.
Fashion – Art Class
From penguins to peacocks to puffins, birds show a fondness for style with their striking feathers and colors. The flair for coordinating plumage hues and patterns suggests an artistic eye for aesthetics and design. Art class would allow creative birds to let their inner fashionista run wild, studying color theory and rendering flashy couture.
Architecture – Wood/Metal Shop
Masterful avian architects like weaver birds and bowerbirds build elaborate nest structures to attract mates and protect their young. They seem to love designing and construction as they carefully select materials, interweave brances, and decorate with found objects. Their nesting skills would transfer well to wood and metal shop class projects.
Navigation – Geography
The long distance migration completed by birds like arctic terns and godwits demonstrates an astounding sense of geography and navigation. These globetrotting birds plot out routes over thousands of miles, sometimes without even pausing for rest. The mental maps and earth science knowledge needed rivals that of the world’s best human navigators. Geography class would be a natural for our avian wanderers.
Combat Training – Gym Class
Some birds get very competitive when it comes to defending territory and resources. Hawk aerial dogfights, eagle wrestling matches, and pheasant sparring are choreographed martial art. Some like ostriches and cassowaries have adapted powerful legs and kicks. Birds seem to enjoy honing combat abilities, making them well suited for intense dodgeball games and other roughhousing gym class activities.
Languages – Foreign Language Class
Bird vocalizations may sound simple to humans, but many birds have complex communication abilities and regional dialects much like human languages. Northern cardinals have at least 11 distinct vocalizations. Birds use language not just for socializing, but to convey information and alert each other to dangers. Linguistic birds would enjoy foreign language class, picking up new phrases, expanding their vocabulary, and practicing their regional accents.
Social Studies – Recess/Lunch
Flocks of highly social birds like starlings and parrots constantly interact, groom each other, forage together, and play. Being part of the group seems paramount. Social birds would breeze through human social dynamics and relish team-building games at recess. Lunch period would be prime time for gossip and clique formation at the “cool birds” table.
Birds have personalities and skills tailored to their environments and roles. By imaginitively matching their habits and abilities to school subjects, we can speculate on what birds might find most interesting if they were human students. Of course, we can only hypothesize their perspectives and proclivities. What we do know for sure is that birds provide humans endless fascination, inspiration, and simple joy from observing their diverse lifestyles. Their presence around us is a gift.
Frequently Asked Questions
What school subjects do birds seem to naturally excel at?
Singing birds at music, migratory birds at navigation, tool-making birds at construction, and social birds at recess activities are some topics they excel at based on observed behaviors.
Would all birds of a species enjoy the same subjects?
Not necessarily. Individual birds likely have unique interests and talents based on life experiences, intelligence, personality, and more. Variety exists within species.
Which birds seem least interested in human school subjects?
Scavenger birds like vultures and seabirds like albatrosses may find human subjects irrelevant to their lifestyles. But we can only speculate based on behaviors.
Can we learn anything from speculating what birds may enjoy?
This anthropomorphizing exercise can help people relate to birds and think from a different perspective. We are reminded birds have their own needs and drives.
What kinds of extracurricular activities might birds enjoy?
Photography club, hide and seek club, debugger club (finding bugs!), and skydiving club could align with certain bird interests and abilities.
Do bird brains actually comprehend complex topics like physics?
Birds lack higher cognition but some do display simple problem-solving abilities. Their specialized instincts enable complex behaviors. Actual comprehension of academics is doubtful.
How do bird social interactions differ from human school dynamics?
Birds have hierarchies and cliques but not the same social complexity. Competition for mates rather than social status seems to be the priority.
What could convince birds that human school subjects are useful?
Connecting concepts like architecture and physics to nest construction and flying could demonstrate relevance. But academics remain artificial human constructs.
Which bird would make the best human study buddy?
Social corvids like crows and ravens display enough intelligence to potentially comprehend simple human concepts if properly trained. But in reality, no birds belong in human schools.
Why do people like imagining birds in human scenarios like attending school?
It allows relating to birds through a familiar human lens. It also imposes narrative and intention where only instinct exists. This fulfills our storytelling nature.